Mortgage starting to wear you down, bank balance looking sick? Defamer has the answer!

Now that Truffles Turnbull is leader of the parliamentary Liberal Party of Australia and the Federal Opposition, Defamer has the answer to our money worries.

"Malcolm Turnbull's millionaire background - and past ownership of an ISP - means he probably has an internet connection. Which means he's accessible to mums and dads around the country through the magic of email.

I've already drafted my first written request for a cash injection from the Bank of Malcolm, and I suggest other cash-strapped Australians do the same - and quickly - before those damn Nigerians cotton onto the scheme and bleed him so dry, there's not a drop of blue blood or affluence for the rest of us. "

You can contact Big Mal at:

T: 02 9369 5221
F: 02 9369 5225
Level 1 - 5A Bronte Rd Bondi Junction
Po Box 1840 Bondi Junction NSW 1335

or email him here.

If in doubt contact his dogs and tell them you are now or were once a renter just like Malcolm.

Don't even bother if you are on a disability, carer or widow's pension - you are so obviously dirt beneath the big man's shoes that he won't even include you in his spurious 'plan' to increase the quality of life for pensioners.